If high schoolers REALLY got to pick the music at high school dances...

Last night was the big Winter Formal dance at my daughter's school, and being the good and overprotective mother that I am, naturally, I had to help chaperone it :-)  As my daughter and her boyfriend (yes, we have now officially moved into the next stage in the Handy Dandy Guide to Teenaged Relationships... kind of scary, but there it is o.O) were off trying to dance for the first time, I had an interesting conversation with another of her friends about (in no particular order) brick walls, dynamite, and popular music.  His musings on the third of those subjects were two-fold.

First: What would happen if someone were to randomly sneak in and insert some Christian songs into the music mix?  Would all fun and merriment immediately screech to a bone-jarring, flesh-tearing, ear-piercing stop?  Would the universe implode?  Would nobody even notice?  Personally, as much as I'd love to see the second option happen, considering the sheer volume of the music they were playing, I think the third is far more likely :-/  Which, of course, means that it might actually be possible to get away with such a thing... In other words, I think he and I now have a new plot to take over the world one high-school event at a time ^_^  Too bad the next dance for these guys isn't until next October... Ah, well, more time for plotting and conniving... :-D

His second musing was more of a challenge:  Once my daughter and her boyfriend returned from mangling one another's toes, he dared any of us to name a song that met all 5 of the following requirements:

1. A non-Christian (i.e. "secular") song, with
2. Good moral content, and
3. No bad language, that's
4. NOT about a girl (I'm assuming that he meant relationships, not just random underaged female members of the human race... ), and
5. NOT by One Direction or Justin Bieber.

Challenge accepted :-)

After some pretty intense argument between the friend and the boyfriend over whether One Direction and One Republic were the same thing (apparently, they're not... and I'm sure all the fans out there are relieved to have THAT settled...), everyone kind of wandered off to other things.  I also ended up apologizing to my daughter and her friends... I remember it going something along the lines of, "I'm really, really sorry that your generation's music sucks so badly..."  At least three of them were amused... ^_^

And so, in the interests of proving a 14 year old boy wrong (this seems to be turning into one of my favorite hobbies of recent days...), here are my two nominees for Songs That Meet My Daughter's Friend's Criteria For Not-Entirely-Evil Pop Music:

1. The Fray, "How To Save a Life"
(Yes, I know that the members of The Fray identify themselves as Christians, BUT they're not marketing themselves as a "Christian band", so I say it qualifies.  Nyah :-P)

2. Jesus Jones, "Right Here, Right Now"
(OK, I'm reaching back to my own high school days here, but hey, just because it's old doesn't mean it's not still good...  Or so I try to tell my kids, anyway :-/ )

I already had my daughter email her friend with my 2 nominations, but I'm figuring that somewhere out there in the blogosphere, there must be other songs that would fit as well.  So, how about it?  What are YOUR nominees for this little challenge?

What Salvation Means to Me...

As Christians, we hear a lot about salvation (i.e. "being saved", "getting saved", "leading someone to salvation" "being washed by the blood of the Lamb", etc.)  Some of us even take what we hear and then go out and talk to others about salvation... and we call that "leading people to Christ", "soul winning", "leading them down the Romans Road", etc.   I wonder though, sometimes, if maybe we talk so much about "salvation" that people who aren't already Christians have learned to just tune us out like so much noise.  I mean, we use all kinds of simple-yet-abstract phrases to dance around the topic... "just ask Jesus into your heart", "get right with God", "save your soul", "become a believer", "meet Jesus", and on and on... and I'm not saying that there's anything wrong or false about any of those words or approaches at all; each one explains a certain facet of salvation, and who knows which phrase will be the one that totally makes sense to someone who's searching for the truth about Jesus Christ?

But I wonder if maybe we spend so much time trying to find the right words to say it and the right phrase to summarize it that we never actually get around to explaining what salvation could actually mean to the person we're talking to, and we end up just adding to the noise instead of helping anyone.  And if we're all just so many noisy clanging cymbals, is it any wonder that, when the topic of religion comes up and we say, "Well, I'm a Christian...", no one ever follows that up with "Oh, really?  Why are you a Christian, and what is it like to be a Christian?"  Unless of course they're just looking for reasons to dismiss you as an idiot, lunatic, or fanatic... and if that's the case, then they're going to find reasons to do that no matter what you say, so what you say really doesn't end up mattering in the first place :-/  But that's a whole 'nother topic, and not one worth going into at the moment anyway, so... :-)

So, basically, if you have no interest in my answer to the question of "Why are you a Christian and what is it like to be a Christian?", and/or you don't care to read about what salvation means to me, then that's just fine... you can skip the rest of this post and read about some of my other, less "religious" soapboxes.  No offense taken :-)

But... if you're curious or if you really want to know more about why I am the way I am, then here we go:

What "Salvation" Means to Me

We all strive to fill our days with stuff to keep us busy, to keep us interested, to keep us from getting bored.  We go to school and/or to work, we come home, we eat our meals, we go to sleep.  We read books, watch TV, listen to our iPods, look for YouTube videos, play Minecraft.  We play in bands, compete on teams, work on projects, spend time with our loved ones, relax with friends... well, we try to relax when we're not busy doing all of the other stuff, anyway....   Sometimes we go places to worship those things that are bigger than us... whether they're worthy of our worship or not.

But then, there are those times when we're all alone, when the work is done, the friends have all gone home, the loved ones are all asleep, when the computer is off and the TV is silent.  Those times when we have nothing to distract us from that gigantic gaping hole in our souls that keeps us awake, whispering in our ears...

You.  Are.  Alone.

And we realize that not only are we alone and feeling kind of lonely in that moment, but we are undeniably, painfully Alone as well.  Because there is a difference between simply being lonely and being Alone... Lonely is what we feel when we think no one is around and we wish that someone was; we know that it is temporary and that we will survive.  When we are Alone, we're not so sure about either.  We spend our days trying to convince ourselves and others that that hole isn't there, that we are complete and that we have it all together... but when we are Alone, we look it in the face and know that we are liars.

(OK, so maybe you're sitting there reading this and thinking to yourself, "Oooooh-KAY then...  Let me know when Reality comes calling again, and until then, just keep your little CRACKED self over in that corner way, way away from the rest of us, 'kay?  Thanks..."  And that's fine... I'm not likely to come after you with anything but a dull pencil, so you're most likely safe where you are ^_^  But next time you're alone, and you're thinking about all that big dark Meaning of Life stuff... I'll bet you'll remember this and start to wonder why... o.O)

So, what is this hole in our souls and why is it there?  I would say that it's the spot where our spirit should be, and that it's been carved and shaped and left empty by God so that we would look for Him.  You see, we're like little kids with a jigsaw puzzle... We've got most of the pieces together, we know what our lives should look like, but there's just that one spot we can't seem to find the right piece for.

So what do we do?

We take all of the pieces we've got left and try to fit them into that spot to see which one is the right one.  Trouble is (and I'm sure we've all run into this at least once in our lives...  I know my kids did a LOT when I was still running my day care :-D ), all of our puzzle boxes have gotten spilled a time or two, and with this particular puzzle, there's one piece missing.

So, what do we do now?

Well, we can try to keep cramming random pieces into the hole, and get more and more frustrated with each one that doesn't fit.  Hey, we can even go and get all of the other puzzle boxes out, dump them all over the floor, and then try all of those pieces in the hopes that one of them will fit.  Just imagine all the super bonus frustration that you can have with that approach ^_^  And then when none of the pieces fit, we can get all mad and throw all of the puzzle pieces all around the room before setting fire to them in the bathtub.  And then try to explain the reasonableness of our decision-making process to the nice firefighters and the insurance adjusters when they come to call...

Or... We can go to the adult of the house and ask them if they know which piece goes there and where that piece might be.  And if they would be so kind as to help us find it and put it in its place.

See, this is the situation I found myself in when I was 20.  None of my pieces were fitting together, and I knew that I had great big gaping holes in my life where things like hope, security, and a will to live should have been.  I had been trying for years to put myself together and keep myself there, but no matter what I did, nothing seemed to work for very long, and as soon as I thought I had it figured out, another piece would fall to the ground and my whole puzzle would shatter.

I was Alone.

But then God was there, and He offered me the piece I'd always been missing.  And once that piece was in place, all of the other pieces made more sense.  Of course, it helped that now I could ask God for help putting the pieces together... "So, hey, Lord... How does this piece with the iguana in polka-dot boxer shorts balancing on a beach ball fit into the whole picture?  Oh, wait... What do you mean it's really a red carnation balanced on the steering wheel of a Toyota Camry?  Well, I guess that does make a little more sense, especially when you put it between those other two pieces..."

But still... What does any of this have to do with salvation?

Well, salvation is the name of that missing piece to my puzzle... No, not the iguana one, the other, analogy-type one, smart-alecks :-P  You see, I needed a savior, someone to rescue me and help me put the pieces of my life together, because as long as I was trying to put myself together on my own, I was doomed to failure.

But what did I need saving from?  What super-scary threat did I need to be rescued from?

Now, this is the part where a preacher would talk about eternal punishment for sins, the death of the soul, separation from God and light and all things that are Good, and unending punishment in a lake of fire.  And all of those things are in the Bible and all of those are gigantically big, end-of-the-world, Meaning-of-Life kinds of things that I am fantastically grateful to be rescued from.  Because it is a huge relief to know that I don't have to worry about any of those things when I die.  But, it seems to me that there should be more to salvation than just the things I won't have to worry about until after I'm dead.  And I'm really not much of a preacher anyway, so...

I think we all get the concept of being saved from a white slavery ring by a devoted father (a la Taken), or being saved from genocide like in Schindler's List, or being saved from a sinking ship like in Titanic, or even being saved from Loki and the Chitauri by Nick Fury and the Avengers.  We totally get that, and we even pay a good chunk of money to see those stories play out on the big screen.  And in Christian circles, we hear all the time about people being saved from addictions, saved from prostitution, saved from disease or infirmity or financial difficulties... which are all amazing and fantastic, but not something we've all gone through.  Most of us live pretty mundane lives, with few or no tales of sinking ships or bank robberies to tell.  But that doesn't mean we don't need someone to save us sometimes.  Here are the mundane little things that I needed saving from:

The shame about all of the stupid things I did when I was too stupid to know any better.
The shame about all of the stupid things I did when I really did know better.

The worry that no matter what I did, I would always be a failure.
The worry that everyone was about to find out that I would always be a failure.

The pressure of trying to be good enough for people to finally accept me for who I was.
The pressure of just trying to be better than I was.
The endless work of getting up every morning and still just being... me.

The suspicion that my existence and my life really was just a random collection of chances with no bigger meaning or point to it.
The fear about what if it would mean if that suspicion turned out to be true.

The frustration of going to work and to school each day and wondering why on earth any of it even matters.
The added frustration of being told that it all should matter by people who couldn't seem to explain why it should matter.

The realization that everyone I knew and everything I had was, at one point or another, going to leave me.
The panic in realizing that there was nothing I could do to stop them.

The terror of feeling lost and knowing that I had no idea where I was going, what I was doing, or how in the hell I'd gotten where I was.
The quiet certainty that all of that was my fault.

The knowledge that with every day I lived, I risked hurting the people who loved me and the ones that I loved back even more than I had the day before.
The knowledge that even if I tried to explain that to them, they'd deny it to my face and tell me I was just being melodramatic.

The loneliness of being completely, utterly Alone in this world.

The understanding that the only way to end that loneliness was for me to die.

The pain that I knew it would take to get myself there.

The damage I would do to myself if I didn't succeed.

The uncertainty of what was actually behind the dark veil of death.

To sum the whole list up in 7 words or less:

I needed to be saved from myself.

All my life, I had been hoping and waiting for my Bryan Mills, my Oskar Schindler, my Thor, my own personal superhero to come and rescue me from myself so that I could go out and finally be everything I always wanted to be.  None of them ever came.

Jesus Christ did.

And in asking Him to rescue me and trusting that He actually would, I finally found the peace I had been missing.  Which was followed by the hope, the security, and the will to live that I so desperately wanted.  And He has never left me, even in my craziest, my darkest, and my scariest times... and I won't lie, there are still times like that, even now that I'm a Christian.  The difference is that, when things get dark and no one is around, Jesus is still there and I'm not alone anymore.  

I will be the first to admit that I'm not some well-read theologian; I know that there are a vast number of different theories about the afterlife, the soul, the "true" meanings of heaven, hell, grace, justice, redemption, propitiation, atonement, and so on-- even within Christianity alone.  And I don't know much about most of those theories, much less about what other religions and worldviews have to say about such things.... and not knowing much means I should probably not say much, lest I sound even more like a total idiot than I already do ^_^

But what I can talk about is what I know from my own life and what it has convinced me of.  And so, this is what I mean when I talk about "salvation"... I'm talking about the peace I have that comes from being saved from my own self-destructive impulses.  The hope I have that comes from knowing I'm going to be all right after all.  The relief that comes from knowing I have a Superhero who will come to either rescue me from whatever trouble I get myself into or stand guard over me as that trouble blows over.  The joy that comes from knowing that whatever crap may be going on in my life right now, there is something 3 million times better waiting for me once it's over.

So, maybe you're asking:  What on earth brought this particular train of thought roaring through the station at 3:30 in the morning on a night when my youngest child is home sick with the flu?  (Well, maybe you weren't asking, but now that I've brought it up, just go with me on this one, OK?  If for no other reason than sympathy for a sick kid... ^_^)

I've been thinking a lot recently about someone I know who doesn't see the same things I do when they think about God, the universe, the meaning of life, and a lot of that stuff.  This person has become one of my very favorite people in the world, and I care a lot about them and what they think and feel and believe, even if we agree to disagree on some of the Big Picture Stuff.  The thing is, because I care about this person, I want them to be more settled and feel more at peace than they are right now, and all I know is that I've found that kind of security, peace, joy, and meaning in my relationship with Jesus.  What I don't want to do is to preach at them or make them feel like I'm lecturing or threatening them, because I remember what that feels like and I absolutely hate, hate, HATE that feeling... that feeling that because I'm not a saved believing Christian, I'm somehow subhuman and therefore not worthy of value unless I get my act together and get "saved."  But, how do I talk to them about salvation without them thinking I'm trying to change them into something they're not or puff myself up into something I'm not?   And I know that, as I go through this life, I'm going to meet more and more people like this, and I'm going to find myself over and over again in this same situation of wanting to speak but not feeling welcome to... and that doesn't even begin to count all of the people I'll never meet who will get to know me by reading this blog.  The possibilities here actually hurt my brain o.O

So maybe I'm kind of hoping that, even if I never get the chance to tell them my story in person, they'll read this blog, and hopefully, they'll actually listen to what I have to say without shutting me out.  In the meantime, my job is to love them right where they're at, whether we agree or not.  Because really, it's not up to me to "save" them... that's between them and God.  All I want to do is tell them what I know so that they can hear the truth about being a Christian from someone who's been there and has finally found what they are still so desperately looking for.

The Handy-Dandy Guide to Relationships... Teen Edition :-)

OK, so just this week, my lovely daughter brought it to my attention that there seems to be some confusion among the younger generation (AKA her oh-so-helpful friends at lunch the other day) as to what exactly puts two people in the category of "dating."  So, with a smile on my face that says I'm 48% joking, I'm going to dedicate this blog post to the Subtle Differences Between the Various Stages of Teenage Relationships.  (And for those of you reading this who are actually a part of this "younger generation", you can use this as a handy-dandy guide to what us old geezers are thinking when we use these phrases in front of you and your potential boyfriend/girlfriend...  We're not actually TRYING to humiliate you, it's just that it comes so naturally to us... ^_^ )

"The Crush"
Ah, yes... this is the way that many teenage relationships seem to start out.  You like him/her... and usually, he/she hasn't quite figured out that you exist yet.  But you're hopeful, because you just know that, as soon as he/she notices that you like him/her (assuming that they first realize that you exist, of course), he or she will recognize that the two of you have virtually everything in common and were obviously meant to be together.  This stage usually lasts until you figure out that everything you love about your crush is based upon how little you actually know about your crush, and once you realize how truly annoying he or she can be, the fascination dries up pretty quickly :-/  This is most definitely the single most irritating type of teenage relationship for your friends, since the only thing you ever want to talk about in the Crush stage is your crush; it's particularly annoying to those friends who also happen to be in the Crush stage but are crushing on you as you're crushing on someone else... but anyway...

"Dating"
This is the "test-driving" stage of a relationship.  Basically, when you're "dating" (or "allowed to date", as all my fellow parents out there are probably hollering right about now...), your main goal is to try out as many of the local hotties as possible in search of that One True Love of Your Life.  So, when that cute guy from Biology class asks you if you want to go and see "An Unexpected Miserable Parental Guidance Chainsaw Trip Unchained" with him next Saturday afternoon, naturally you say "Yes!"... even though you've already got plans to go and see the very same movie with the cute guy from Geometry on Friday night ^_^   No commitment, no expectations, no jealousy allowed... just looking for a good time with whoever asks first... that's "dating."  (In other words, if you're a teenage boy and you're thinking about asking if you can "date" my daughter, start preparing yourself now for an answer of either "Um, no...", "NO.", "HECK no!", and/or "I'm the Doctor... Basically, RUN.")...

"Going Out"
This is the stage where you actually start going out to stuff with the same person more than once... For example, let's say you both thoroughly enjoyed "An Unexpected Miserable Parental Guidance Chainsaw Trip Unchained", and now he's asking you if you want to go with him to see "The Rise of the 40 Jack Reachers in the Promised Land" next weekend.  And since you had a good time before AND you still think he's kind of cute (and he didn't pick his nose even once that you noticed during the movie...), you say "Sure... Why not?"  So, now that you've been spotted out in public with the same person multiple times, it's perfectly reasonable for your friends/friends' friends/parents' annoying coworkers to start asking, "Hey, so... are you two a couple?"  And now, finally, you have the perfect answer for them: "Well... We're going out."  Short, simple, and vague enough to only be slightly awkward ^_^

"Going Steady"
(My mother-in-law gave me this one... Personally, I hadn't heard it since I was a teenager, but now that I'm the parent of teens, it's kind of starting to grow on me... )

Now, this is where things start to get interesting o.O  You like him/her... and he/she likes you back.  You've done the whole "going out" thing several times, and you've both pretty much stopped going out with anyone else.  However... you're not really sure that you're quite ready for That Special Someone to come home and meet the rest of your crazy family just yet... especially if they're the kind of family that entertains themselves by dissecting the personality quirks of every new visitor and/or throwing food at mealtimes...


So... "going steady" means that you're kind of a couple now... in an officially unofficial sense, anyway.  Your friends all know you're a couple, but your parents and all of their friends and family members are still trying to explain your relationship by saying things like, "He's such a nice boy... and they're so cute together!" or "Aww... Isn't puppy love adorable?"  Which leads to all sorts of interesting family nicknames for your Almost-Significant Other... such as:

• The Unofficial Boyfriend (AKA The Ubbie)
• His Unofficial Girlfriend (AKA The Huggie)
• The He's-NOT-My-Boyfriend/She's-NOT-My-Girlfriend (if you can figure out how to turn HNMB or SNMG into something both acronymical and cutesy, be my guest...)
• The Potential Boyfriend/Potential Girlfriend (shortening this to "Pot Boy" or "Pot Girl", however, will probably NOT win you any coolness points with the teens in your life.  Just sayin'...) 
• The We're-Just-Friends... Really-Really-Really-Good-Friends (added emphasis on the last Really is purely optional, but adds that touch of flavor and mystery to the phrase that makes one raise the eyebrow and go "Oh, really?")
• Your Young Man Friend.  (I have my sister to blame for that one...  Apparently, there is more than one way to interpret the phrase "He's NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" after all o.O  I draw the line, however, at acronymizing this to "The Yummie"...)

"Boyfriend/Girlfriend"
So.  This is (or should be, anyway) the epitome of teenage relationship status clarity.  You like him/her, he/she likes you back, and you've brought him/her home to meet your parents and siblings AND gone over to meet his/her parents and siblings as well.  He/she has asked you to be his/her girlfriend/boyfriend, and you've decided that yes, you're willing to ignore all of the other possible hotties in your life and settle on this one person for the foreseeable future, with the expectation that he/she is going to do the same.  This is the point at which you change your Facebook status, put pictures of him/her in your locker and on the walls of your room, and start referring to him/her in every possible situation as "My boyfriend/my girlfriend..."

Friend 1: "So, Steve and I are going to the movies this weekend.  Do you want to come with us?"
You: "Sure!  My boyfriend and I would LOVE to!  Which movie and what time?"

Friend 2:  "So, Morgan and I were sitting in Modern World History this morning, and OMG, I could not believe what Shelbie and Dakota were saying about Tiffany's dress at Homecoming..."
You:  "Yeah, I know... My boyfriend is in that class too, and he totally heard them talking about it..."

Friend 3:  "So, we went to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving, and the pumpkin pie caught fire and burned one wall of the kitchen, which my Uncle Ernie had to use the egg nog to put out, but then we had to take him to the hospital with 2nd degree burns..."
You:  "Hey, my boyfriend has grandparents too!  And he likes things that catch fire... and pie..."

But anyway... That's pretty much The Beautiful Letdown's Handy Dandy Guide to Relationships for Teenagers in a nutshell ^_^  Enjoy, and try to avoid the flaming pie next time...

Broken Stained Glass Candles... Like Me

So... The holiday season is now over and things are about to go back to "normal"... well, at least as normal as it gets around these parts o.O

For Christmas this year, my youngest gave me this stained glass candleholder made of grout and bits of broken blue glass...

He didn't make it himself (I know this because I was with him at Goodwill when I picked it up and commented on how cool it was... which was about 3 aisles before he told me "Mom, DON'T LOOK... I'll be right back!" and then took off running ^_^), but all the same, I love it just as if he did because of what it says about life and about me.

Allow me to explain.

Once upon a time, I was created as a beautiful, unblemished piece of art, without understanding of life or sin or failure.  Granted, I had some structural flaws-- mainly health issues and a family background that would make life difficult for anyone-- but as far as I could see with my newborn eyes, I was perfect, lovely, and loveable.

http://supercleanpr.com

But then, life happened.  Over time, I was bumped, dropped, knocked around, fractured, and crushed by circumstances.  In response, I lashed out, cutting myself and others with the sharpened edges of my shattered innocence.  My flawless surface began to show cracks where I had been hurt, dribbles of glue where people who loved me had tried to fix me, and scraps of cellophane tape where I had tried to heal myself.  Bits and pieces of me were broken off and embedded in the hearts of those who tried in vain to understand me, just as pieces of them were left buried in me.

http://tektites.co.uk

As I began to see the power that I could have by hurting people, I became not a piece of art but a weapon, wielding my damaged pride like a knife and using my bloodied edges to slash at others before they could pierce me with their own.  Yet the blood was not just theirs, but mine; for every wound I inflicted on them, I took two of my own.  While the damage I did to those around me was spread out among dozens, the damage I did to myself landed only on me.  Every cruel word I spoke, every bruise I left, every vicious tirade I inflicted echoed in my mind, and each word came back to haunt me as I realized that everything I said had been true... about me.  I cut others so that I could forget that I had been cut myself.

Once I was an innocent; now I was a monster.

Once I was whole; now I was deformed.

Once I was beautiful; now I was broken.

My original form was lost, my once-shiny colors and designs covered by dirt and shattered by situations and choices.  Like broken glass littering the midnight street, I had become ugly and useless, a cruel glittering of danger waiting only for the distracted feet of my next victim to tread upon me.

http://westoftheimagination.wordpress.com

But then...

God steps in.

And bit by bit, He begins to gather up the broken pieces of me.  He cleans them off and sets them aside, separating them by color, shape, and size.

http://earofthewind.com/about

Some pieces He refines, rubbing off the sharp edges and rendering them harmless; others He leaves sharp to be used as tools for His work.

http://boehmstainedglass.blogspot.com/2011/07/octagonal-window-glass-cut.html

Slowly, one by one, He takes each of the broken pieces and places them into a mold.  At first, the design makes absolutely no sense to anyone but Him; in time, however, glimpses of the bigger picture become visible.

http://mosaicartsource.wordpress.com

I write these paragraphs in the present tense because I am still a work in progress; God isn't finished putting me together yet.  I still have some sharp edges and many missing pieces; I still have great big gaping holes where the pieces of my soul aren't quite ready to be put back in yet.  I still feel lost and broken sometimes, and every so often, I accidentally slice open the hands of those who reach out to touch me.  I am flawed and I am broken, and I know that, until the day God puts the final piece of me together and I see Christ face to face, I will always be flawed and broken.

But...

If by my brokenness, other people will see that there is a God and that He is the one who saves me from myself, then it is worth the pain.  If by my flaws, other people can see that God is real and that if He can love a person as messed up as I am, He can love them too, then it is worth it.  If my struggles and my shortcomings and my failures-- and the hope I still have in spite of them-- can show people that no situation is hopeless, then they are all worthwhile.  If my weakness shows God's strength to carry me, then by all means... bring it :-)

Day by day, piece by piece, reminder by reminder, God takes the broken pieces of my life and puts them together into something beautiful again.  Not the same as I was before... that design has been crushed and obliterated beyond recognition, and will never, ever be made whole again.  But all the same, the end result will be breathtakingly beautiful... and like my broken stained glass candleholder, I think I will love it all the more for the work that He has put into it :-D

And now, for the musical interlude part of the blog...  Here is someone else's video for a song that perfectly captures what I'm trying to say here, only in a more poetical form :-)  Lyrics are below for anyone who needs them...

"Art in Me" by Jars of Clay

Images on the sidewalk
Speak of dreams' descent
Washed away by storms to graves
Of cynical lament
Dirty canvases
To call my own
Protest limericks carved
By the old pay phone

And in Your picture book I'm
Trying hard to see
Turning endless pages
Of this tragedy
Sculpting every move
You compose a symphony
And You plead to everyone
See the art in Me
See the art in Me
See the art in Me.

Broken stained glass windows
The fragments ramble on
Tales of broken souls
An eternity's been won
As critics scorn the thoughts and works
Of mortal man
My eyes are drawn to You
In awe once again

And in Your picture book I'm
Trying hard to see
Turning endless pages
Of this tragedy
Sculpting every move
You compose a symphony
And You plead to everyone
See the art in Me
See the art in Me
See the art in Me.

And in Your picture book I'm
Trying hard to see
Turning endless pages
Of this tragedy
Sculpting every move
You compose a symphony
And You plead to everyone
See the art in Me
(See the art in me...)
See the art in Me
(See the art in me...)
See the art in Me
(See the art in me...)