(I was totally expecting that my next post would be the continuation of "Faith Is...", but right now, I'm kind of frustrated about a situation and feel the need to try and get my thoughts out in a more... constructive manner. More constructive than beating my head against a brick wall until reality fades away, anyway... Let's just call this one a teaser for "Top 10 Myths of the Christian Life" and call it good, 'K? :-D )
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Our world tells you that the most important thing in life is to be happy. Whatever you do, do what makes you happy and tell the rest of the world to go to Minnesota. (Which, in my opinion, is a phrase that Tim Hawkins left out of his list of 101 Cuss Words for Christians... Here's the video, courtesy of my daughter's completely awesome boyfriend who first showed it to me...)
But anyway...
Our culture tells you that if you're unhappy, there's something seriously wrong in your life that needs to be fixed. If your husband/children/teachers/friends make you unhappy, ditch 'em and find someone who makes you feel happy again. If you're unhappy all the time for no apparent reason, take this pill so you can feel happy. It's all about being happy, happy, happy all the time.
And that, my friends, is a lie.
Happiness is based on situations. If it's my birthday and my husband takes me out for dinner at Olive Garden, I'm happy. If I get a paycheck in the mail, I'm happy. If my kids bring home all As on their report cards, I'm happy for them. If my best friend's boyfriend asks her to marry him, I'm happy for her.
All that happiness, however, is based on an "if"; remove that "if" and the happiness goes away... If my hubby forgets my birthday, I'm unhappy because it implies that something else is more important to him. If my bills come due and I don't get a paycheck to cover them, I'm unhappy because I now have to call and ask for payment arrangements so they don't shut off the electricity. If my kids hide their report cards and the teacher has to call to find out why my son didn't return the Discipline Referral slip she sent home three days ago, I'm unhappy because now I have to deal with whatever it was he did AND with the imminent grounding he has just earned. If my best friend's boyfriend breaks up with her over Facebook, I'm unhappy because now she's miserable and because he has destroyed part of my faith in "nice guys".
Life is full of situations, both good and bad... Every day is a new situation, and every day we have things that make us happy and things that make us unhappy. There is simply no way to get around that. And when we have one of those days where our emotions are being yanked up and down and all over the place by situations, we end up exhausted and miserable and sick and confused as heck about what we're supposed to be feeling. If life is all about being happy, then there is really no point to any of it because, as soon as something happens to make us happy, something else always seems to come along to make us unhappy and we end up forgetting the happiness we had at the beginning.
I don't believe that life is supposed to be about being happy. I choose instead to believe in contentment.
Contentment is not about being happy all the time. It's not like that old Sunday School song about being "in-right, outright, upright, downright happy all the time" (The only Sunday School song that I can say I actually, really, truly, completely HATE... here's a video of it in case you don't know it by heart already...)
(Note: I have nothing at all against the people in this video or against anyone who uses this song in their children's church or Sunday School program... I just really think the song itself is horrible and misleading to children of all ages because it tells them that, if they become a Christian, their life will be all wonderful and they will be happy all of the time. Which, as anyone who has been a Christian for more than a week or so can testify, is simply not true :-/ )
But anyway... Contentment is knowing that, whatever happens and however the situation you're in turns out, you're going to be OK. It's knowing that no matter how bad your day is going and how scary the pit you're standing at the edge of looks, tomorrow will be a new day and it isn't the end of the world. It's knowing that what you're feeling isn't the be-all end-all of what you are, and that even in the deepest, darkest depressions of the night, you are still a beautiful creature with the right to have hope and a future.
For the Christian, contentment is knowing that there is no situation coming over you that wasn't allowed for and prepared for by the Maker of the universe Himself. It's knowing that no matter what happens next, God Himself knows the number of your days (Psalm 139) and the plans He still has for you to fulfill (Jeremiah 29:11). Contentment comes from knowing that each and every situation will either 1) make you stronger and give you yet another glimpse of how God is working in your life, or 2) kill you and therefore transport you into His presence in Heaven, where there are no more crazy situations to have to deal with :-) (OK, so maybe that either/or was a wee bit extreme... Oh, well, that's just how we roll here, I guess... ^_^ )
Even though I am a Christian, if I'm going to be honest and have even a shred of integrity, I have to admit that here are a lot of situations in my life (and in the lives of a lot of my friends and family members) that I am most definitely NOT happy about. I am NOT in-right, outright, upright, downright happy all the time :-P But... I can be content knowing that, no matter how unhappy I feel or how frustrated I am with what's going on, it's not the end of the world. When things are fantastic and everything is coming together and it all works and I'm in love with the world and everything in it, I can be content to not cling to what's fleeting and to just bask in the glory of a rare good day. When things are going badly and life just kind of sucks and I feel like blasting my frustrations all over Facebook just to get them out of my head, I know that this is not how my story (or the stories of all those hurting people I love) ends.
That's what contentment is.
Don't strive and work and chase after and exhaust and starve yourself trying to find happiness, because even if you do catch it, it will fade and drift away. Look for contentment, and in those moments when you realize, "Hey, I'm actually happy today!", you will be able to stop and relax and enjoy and savor it :-D
