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Monday, April 30, 2012

Last day of student teaching... AKA The Spring of my Starlight Mints :-D

Well, it's official... I'm an official university graduate with an official BS degree in Elementary Education (which, if one thinks too hard about it, actually makes quite a bit of sense, as about 67% of what we El Ed people do is pure improv anyway ^_^)  Not to mention that during my last week of student teaching, I caught the flu bug that was spreading through my class, and so stumbled through graduation on a cocktail of Nyquil, coffee, and Mountain Dew... ah, those wild and crazy college days :-D

Rather than post pics of graduation, I figured I'd share a story from my final day of student teaching.  Of course, before I tell the story, I have to explain a little bit about Casey.  Casey is the A-Number-One, Oregon's Most Wanted "problem child" in the fourth grade... actually, in the whole school.  First off, he's been held back once, and is none too happy about it.  Second, this is his first year at our school, so to start the year off right, Casey found the biggest, most-feared fifth grader in the school and picked a fight with him.  He got thoroughly pounded, of course... but the point was made that you don't mess with Myles or Casey o_O    Third, he's become the subject of both a school-wide anti-bullying campaign AND an ESD-level threat assessment... simply by making an offhand comment to a staff member that he was planning to bring a gun to school and that he already had 3 people "on the hit list".  And then there are all the little day-to-day joys of life with Casey... such as him warning me that, if I didn't handle his most recent disagreement with a classmate properly, he would have to take care of the matter himself, and that I wasn't "going to like the results 'cause there's gonna be lots of blood and concrete and somebody would probably be going to jail afterwards."  Rather considerate of him to warn me, all things considered... o_O  Casey's not at all stupid, though he seems to have a lot of people convinced that, because he refuses to do most of his schoolwork, he must be a slow learner.  Personally, I think he's just got the system figured out already... which tells me a lot about his intelligence that I wouldn't get from looking at his grades :-)

When he's not terrorizing his peers, though, Casey can actually be a pretty funny, sweet kid.  Such as the time when his classmate Yesenia was told by another student, "Well, at least I'm white...", and Casey went out of his way to comfort her and make her laugh again.  Or the incident that happened on my last day in the classroom:

That morning, I busted Casey with his iPhone in class again... third time in four days.  After first refusing to put it in his backpack and then stuffing it in his back pocket and lying outright about it ("Whaaaaat?  It IS in my backpack!!!"  "Yeah, OK, so what is that in your pocket, then?"  "That?  Well, it's NOT my PHOOOOOONE... it's my iPHOOOOONE!  Hahahahahahaha..."), Casey eventually did go and put the phone away like I had asked... yes, we celebrate the small victories here... ^_^

... and came out of the coat closet with two fistfuls of candy and both cheeks stuffed full besides...

... which became really interesting because it was his turn to lead the class in the Pledge of Allegiance.  Which is a little difficult to do with a mouth full of Starlight Mints ("Ipfffawwjttdffphguv d Oontdfdd Stttsuvv Mrrrguhh...")  Natural consequences FTW  ^_^

The day progressed normally (this was the same day as Casey's oh-so-considerate pre-warning about the blood and concrete and all that... pretty typical, all things considered o_O), until about half an hour before the end of the day.  At that time, Casey was headed out to one of his Special Ed classes, when he suddenly turned and ran over to hand me two Starlight Mints.  "It's a good-bye present."

"Oh... OK.  Thanks!"  How sweet of him :-)  Really, it was actually pretty sweet... no kidding :-D

When Casey returned from his class to get his things at the end of the day, he came over to my desk, where I was starting to pack up my things.  "Here," he says, and gestures for me to hold out my hands.  I do so, and he dumps a couple of handfuls of Starlight Mints into my hands and onto my desk.



"Um... Thanks.  By the way, where did you get all of these mints from?"

"My backpack.  Duh..."  And he shows me that the bottom of his backpack is filled with about the same amount of mints as he's just given me.

I laugh.  "Okay, yeah, 'duh...'  I meant before they were in your backpack... Where did you get so much candy from?"

"Oh, from the restaurant."

"The restaurant?"

"Yeah, the restaurant.  My mom said that, for 50 bucks for dinner, we deserved as many mints as we could carry!"

Lovely.  Just... lovely :-D  Wonder if they take away your teaching license for accepting stolen goods from your students...



Tuesday, April 17, 2012

My Top 5 list of phrases that will heretofore be forever banned from my classroom...

As I draw near to the end of my full-time student teaching experience (Graduation in t-minus 11 days... Squeeeeee! :-D), I've come to the conclusion that there are certain phrases that should be banned from any classroom anywhere at any time...

5.  "But you never TAUGHT us THIS...!"
In some cases, this is OK.  Just not when we're talking about nouns after I've spent a week and a half covering them.  In detail.  With all sorts of color-coded whiteboard games and Mad Libs.  And Schoolhouse Rock videos.  Did I mention that I'm teaching fourth grade?  Yeah.  You see how it is...

4.  (Careful... this one is a two-parter)
Student: "I don't GET it..."
Me: "OK... what part don't you get?"
Student:  "... AAAALLLLL of it!"
Me:  Sigh.  Consider banging head against wall.  Decide against the wall plan and take a peek at Student's paper.  Point.  "First, put your name on the paper."  Walk away and repeat with the student three desks over.  If you make it through 5 students before your head explodes, you win.  Go directly to the teacher's lounge and scarf down any form of unguarded chocolate you find.

3.  "But this is HAAAAAAARRRRRD..."
My response to this varies with the student.  Sometimes it's, "Well, let's take it one step at a time... First, put your name on the paper..."  Sometimes it's "Yes... Welcome to fourth grade.  Your point is?"  And sometimes (if it happens to be Rennie or Jason saying it) it's "Noooo, this isn't hard, it's complex... Which are two related but linguistically separate things."  Which means I now have to tell y'all about Rennie, but that's a whole other post entirely...

2.  "But I don't WANT to..."
Of course you don't want to... If you DID, you would have already come up with this idea on your own and finished it.  Probably while I was explaining something else, to which your response was...

1.  "Do we HAAAAAAAVVVVVE to do this???"
No, no, of course not... I just spent the past 5 minutes explaining the directions for this art project/math game/vocabulary worksheet because I enjoy talking to myself in front of a room full of 10-year-olds, all of whom are now wondering if it would be better to notify their parents of their teacher's insanity or just sit back and enjoy the ride... ^_^

When I (someday) have my own classroom, one of the first things I'm going to do is create one of these bad boys... Many thanks to Ms. Teach for the idea :-D


As soon as any one of those phrases passes the lips of one of my students, they will earn a pick from the Fortune Teller of Doom... I swear on the soul of my father... Domingo Montoya...


Well, maybe not, but still... you see how utterly serious I am about this subject.  ^_^

And now, for those of you who know exactly what Schoolhouse Rock song I was referring to (and who now have it running around in your head like a caffeinated hamster...)